The internet is full of wondrous and mysterious things. One of these things are Job boards, because nobody fully understands how the work or how useful they actually are. I call them the abyss, because no matter how many things you throw in them, you'll never see them again.
If you decide to post all your personal information online, you'll more than likely get calls from recruiters across the world, each offering one completely terrible position after the next, in the hopes that you are willing to relocate to Wilmington, Delaware for that "golden opportunity" of a job at Wal-mart as a retail consultant.
What's most frustrating is by far the software used to upload resumes. First, businesses, use ONE type of job posting software. And if you do, make it so you can share login info with others, so I don't have to create an entire profile EVERY SINGLE JOB POSTING I SEE
Second, you're resume scanning software is absolutely atrocious. Stop using it, please. If you are scanning jobs with this software, god help you. Nine times out of ten I always have to scrub the randomness your software attempts to read. To the point were I usually just copy-paste stuff from my resume in the boxes your software failed to read.
After the rigamorale of creating a profile, uploading your resume, redoing everything the software messed up, and submitting it, your application is whisked away through the tubes of the internet to the company's email. Where, most likely, it is either forwarded to account that is no longer in use or is forwarded to someones junk mail because it is marked as spam. Your application never gets read, ever. Thanks for spending 30 minutes filling it out!
However, recently I received news on a position I applied for about 2 months ago. In the mail, they sent me a note saying they received my application and that I should fill the following forms out to be considered for the process. What they sent me you may ask? ANOTHER APPLICATION, this time in paper form!
So after doing the online equivalent, and attaching my resume, cover letter, and references, they want me to fill out a paper application, print out my resume, cover, letter and references and send it back to them. Keep in mind, the application asks you everything that would be on that resume, but just to be safe, they want you to scribble it down, in case they loose the other two things that already have that. I didn't fill out the paper version, because I figure if they are that backwards with recruitment, then possibly they would be in every other way.
So, I have a suggestion for the perfect job posting, so businesses listen up!
Here's what SHOULD be on the website:
Job XYZ
Email at yada@blah.com your resume to be considered. Don't send a cover letter because they are useless.
Requirements (that we will actually use to grade you, not make believe ones after you apply to discredit you and make you feel bad)
Education (that we will actually use to grade you, not make believe ones after you apply to discredit you and make you feel bad)
Salary: PUT THE SALARY RANGE HERE!!! YES, WE WANNA KNOW THAT !!!
Here's what I'd send in an email:
Dear Herp,
Enclosed is my resume for Job XYZ. ***COPY-PASTE COVER LETTER CRAP HERE*** (Because folks, cover letters are memos, and nobody sends paper memos any more. Emails are electronic memos, and people have been using them for like 20 years).
Sincerely,
Herpty Derp
PS: I put a read flag on so I'll get notified when you read this email. So i'll be looking forward to that in 3 months
And that's it folks!
No more wasted money on terrible job screening software or wasted time filling out crappy applications. Use the best tool to screen applicants! Your eyes!
